One good thing about Hell, at least, is you can probably pee wherever you want to.

I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you’ve never seen neurotics play softball, it’s really funny.
I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.

Never make a decision when you need to pee.